The Unexpected

I never feared the unexpected until i found myself in this peculiar place.

Jenna, my dog isn't well. She's laying next to me on the blanket my mum crocheted for me. Her head is on my lap whilst i'm watching the fifth season of One Tree Hill. I'm hungry but food doesn't interest me. My voice was strong with my family, I held a brave face but the truth is i've been really upset this afternoon. Upset that i've lost my best friend and hurt him deeply at the same time. There will be no going back. The flip side? I really like my place with "the predicament" - My happiness matters to me and to those i care about. My art matters to. So i'm going to do it. I'm not going to say what it is but ill do it. Confidence, motivation, the right choice...its these three things that have brought me to where i am today. I may only be 21 but i'm headstrong and i'm not afraid to face up to what i feel about things and tell the truth, even when it hurts me as well. I'm not afraid of being hurt. I've said it before, i'll say it again. Life is a roller coaster ride and sometimes it slows down to a halt, then picks up speed and takes you flying like superman. Enjoy the ride. I know that i will look back on this year in a few years and thoughts will run through my mind about my life since 2006. Ups and downs, new friendships, heart ache, losses and gains.

Im struggling to write this blog because i feel like i should be guilty. I've been feeling bad the past few days for everything thats happened, as though its my fault. I can't help the way things have occurred, and im happy. He is a breath of fresh air and it excites me. It makes me smile. His warm embrace feels right. Go with our gut feeling right? Definitely.