His time in the naughty chair

My best friend has created a blog to relieve his daily frustrations and get anything off his chest. Blogging is a great way to say whats on your mind. I was emailed a link to his blog and read, with interest, this morning his first post. Its about us. Surprised? Not at all. Together we have been through so much since the end of last year and our trials and tribulations have brought us closer and closer to each other.

This is a response to his blog.

What an interesting read. Perhaps when you asked her to dance, she wasn't comfortable with the song? She was probably waiting for something that gives her that spark, like a guns and roses, welcome to the jungle. I'm positive she doesn't have feelings for the person who hurt her a few times and has given up and moved on. She would have sorted things out as friends, in a friendship environment, to let him know where he stands.

Life is about taking chances and about trusting those closest to you. When you trust someone openly and completely, something beautiful takes that friendship and relationship to another level, because you know 100% they won't hurt you. When that trust is broken, it leaves you torn up inside and its like a train that doesn't stop. Like Japans Bullet train it picks up speed and doesn't slow down, only for a few moments to let other people in. I find it hard to completely trust people because i've been hurt in the past. When our trust was broken, i was left confused, anxious, apprehensive and distraught. And you did it more than once. Asking for space and not being completely clear with why, except for the frustration at peoples assumptions?

I am 21. I have alot to learn, but everyone has lessons to be learnt and mistakes to be made. I admit that i was so sure we would be together, and then when he went to Heron Island and i kind of met someone but i didnt feel anything strongly for them - I had to know if he wanted me, or at least had feelings for me, so we could continue to be best friends and share everything and see where we ended up. Now? I'm emotionally detached from being a partner to him. I'm shocked that he wants me. When he said it, i had no idea how i was going to take it because i waited for him for so long to say it to me. I want you. Those words have come at a time in my life where im unsure of what to do, how i should feel. So i've taken a step back and decided to let my mind take things in and absorb the different past and present emotions. I didn't discuss this in my blog post last night because i was unsure if he would want me to. I care deeply for him, so before i was going to blog about it, i wanted to be certain he wouldn't mind. However, he has already begun blogging about it anyway. At the moment, im coming down with the flu, or maybe tonsillitis. I know i don't have tonsils anymore, but the remnants can still become infected. My throat is very sore, its hard to talk. I'm heading to Robina Town Centre to shop and spend some of my birthday money.

I love my best friend more than anything in this world and i care about him so much. He knows me more than anyone else, because i've opened up to him in a way i wasn't able to with previous partners. He sees a side of me which no one else does and he expressed how much i mean to him in a poem about me and my life. This was the best present i received for my birthday. A large poster of one of my nude photographs we did one afternoon at Jabiru Island Park near Paradise Point, and the poem. A very special gift that i know came from his heart. I love it so very much, thank you. I will continue this post later, and update it. I can't wait to not have a headache anymore but mostly to give him a JP hug.