I think my heart just skipped a beat

Against all odds and against all obstacles, i will strive for a better future for myself.

All we need is a great big imagination, and a few little dreams, a few little goals, someone to love, something to look forward to and a little faith in ourselves that we can do anything, no matter how long it takes to get there. A bit of sunshine, a nice wine, friends that stick by you and keep in contact no matter the road you turn how far away or near you are, a little adventure, a little sacrifice and to compromise - but not so much so that we compromise who we are as a person but so, so that we learn and grow together. Remember to have a little time to unwind, seek the thoughts of the great thinkers to help guide us through their knowledge and wisdom of human life learnt before us, cherish our families, eat chocolate and seek peace and love through all eternity. Think ahead of the times but don't rush through life jumping from one thing to the next, have gratitude and be satisfied, not always wanting for bigger and better things but be satisfied with what you have worked for. Sit back and smell the roses, because experience builds character and you can't take your porsche or your leather lounges with you when you go. Take words of old friends with a grain of salt and listen to your elders, including your mother, because she's right.

Lord Byron once said "for i love not man the less, but nature more."I love the earth and everything the earth brings to us. Our world is a beautiful planet and the people on it more amazing so. I love taking my dog to the park and standing by the river and just looking out over the water and wondering what lies beneath. So much mystery and bull sharks of course. I love taking a stroll through the bush and looking at the trees, plants and flowers and appreciating there natural beauty. I always watch for snakes or birds hoping i'll see something in its own natural environment. Science is a beautiful thing and on my last flight to Rockhampton i picked up a cosmos magazine and i've found such delight in reading up on different things it has to offer. I think i'll have to subscribe to this magazine! Especially when i sit alone in the house in Rocky whilst my boyfriend works, i exercise, stretch and read about science or philosophy. I think this time i need to take some more reading material, and especially take my new laptop.

You know come to think of it i don't think i have the willpower and determination to put my time and energy into my book. Although my story is yearning to be told, deep inside of me, i feel now isn't the right time. I just believe i need a few months to clear my head and leave it for a while. The mass project has begun and the story burns deep within my soul, like flames of a burning fireplace.

I think my heart just skipped a beat. Until the stars fall, JP xx

Follow your dreams.

OR you will spend the rest of your life working for someone who did.

The very first day of December is here and Christmas is just around the corner. I haven't begun christmas shopping yet, however, there are so many different things to buy people but i don't want to get my family and friends just 'anything' i'd like to get them something special and unique to them that they want. Today is such a beautiful day, so beautiful, like diamonds in the sky. I am shining bright and living a happier, healthier life. The sun is shining and although the heat is making me feel tired and lethargic, im enjoying my saturday watching House Husbands and relaxing after a night out last night. I went to the bakery and bought my usual toasted ciabatta with egg, cheese and tomato (a little naughty and not too healthy) but it was breakfast! Since then i've been guzzling down the water and it looks like ill be doing my coconut detox tomorrow too. I've just begun taking my contraceptive pill again, hoping that it will help regulate my body and help with my skin. I've been back on it for a week and am feeling sluggish and bloated but hopefully it will pass soon and i can settle into a normal routine, without feeling excessively bigger than what i am. I bought a little something for a few special people in my life and hope they like their little gifts. You know, i love surprises and when i walked up the street a few days earlier and to my delight one of my neighbours has planted about 16 sunflowers of which 5 were blooming open and facing the sun. Today, they are all open and what a site to see. I absolutely love sunflowers, with their big bright faces constantly turning to face where the sun is shining down its beautiful rays. For those who know me, this would draw the biggest of smiles across my face, as sunflowers remind me to be positive. In a world of 'busy' with things constantly on the move, it's nice to stand still for a moment and enjoy something that makes you smile so much. Lately, i've been stretching more and doing yoga for myself (especially when in Rockhampton). I am yet to find a yoga class i enjoy up there also, however, i really enjoy spending the days to myself and doing my own thing, clearing my head and pruning it of negative thought processes. A session of yoga helps me to regain my focus as it's often hard to slow down your mind. I like to meditate for about 15 minutes afterward to truly relax and gain composure of myself and let myself go in my surroundings.

Today is the first day to following my dreams. I dream to live a life of love, happiness and joy as i move through the different stages of my being and learn more about myself and my development cognitively, biologically and psychosocially. During my second semester of university last year i was fortunate enough to study 'Developmental Psychology.' This was my favourite subject of my degree, bypassing even my second favourite subject 'Cultural and Ethical Values' - where we studied philosophy and the great thinkers from ancient to modern times. Developmental psychology taught me about human development from 'womb' to 'tomb' and opened up my eyes, my mind and my soul to why i am the person i am today. From my upbringing through childhood, the way i was parented and through the different child attachments i had, and of course the 'nature' vs 'nurture' debate this subject gave me a clearer view on why i react the way i do to certain things and the reasons i am who i am. If there was one subject i believe all children should study in high school to a certain extent it is 'Developmental Psychology.' Although my degree is finished, i haven't learnt the skills nor do i have the knowledge needed to continue down the path i wish to follow. Therefore, in the new year i will begin to study once more. Subjects such as emotional intelligence will be on the agenda for outside of class time, but in terms of a degree i am looking into a Bachelor of Health Sciences (naturopathy) with the Endeavour College of Natural Health. Naturopathy is something i have wanted to study for a long time and whilst studying this i can also learn massage and remedial massage as it's all part of the bodies natural healing processes. Already from my dancing and what i learnt in my short period studying massage for two and half weeks i learnt that this is something i very much so want to do. I can see myself in 5 years being an accredited Naturopath and Massage Therapist embarking on starting my own business to help others heal. Human beings always dream and yearn for something more. I've still got a lot of researching, phone calls and visits to make regarding my degree and when i will be studying .
The new year has a lot of exciting opportunities and i cannot wait to see where my relationship takes me. Although his family is from Gympie and mine from the Gold Coast, we can work it out and that we will. When i met him, i didn't realise how important he would be to me, and quite frankly i was scared of being in a relationship because meeting him was completely unexpected and out of the blue and with everything going on with me internally i wasn't ready for it. Nevertheless they say things happen for a reason and when your ex says 'you'll never find anyone like me' you respond with 'that's the point.' Human beings need to share their lives with someone who is supportive and believes in you no matter what. They listen to you and take notice to how you are feeling and want to talk and share things with you. It gets a little hard sometimes because i'm never completely settled whilst i'm in Rocky but life is a little unsettling at the best of times.

I still can't get over the fact its december already. Im off to enjoy the peace and serenity of an afternoon kip. Until the stars fall or the end of the world is near, JP x