sunday session

People are all the same, no matter where you go and each day i come to realise just how important my family means to me, through thick and thin, they will always be there for you. I have been enjoying work lately, except it's still very difficult at times. When talking to someone, its rude to have your back to them, and mumble under your breath. Well, at least, this is what i learnt growing up. Recently, i was told that the 'Jodie i knew and grew close to and was good friends with isn't the Jodie i know now.' Maybe that's because the Jodie you know now is the one that keeps to herself, because she can't talk to you like she used to, so keeps things deep in her heart. She confides in her mum, and confides in the predicament, because he makes her feel alive and has always been there for her. The Jodie 'now' has grown to realise that her and Georges friendship will never be the same, so has created a distance from him. Already it's uncomfortable and its true, i do enjoy work more without him simply because i don't feel like i've done something wrong. When he is there, not looking at me when speaking to me, keeping a rigid stance, rarely making eye contact but talking to others, it makes me feel uncomfortable so of course i'm going to enjoy it more when he isn't there. But when he is there, i'm excited to see him because we were once so very close, but straight away it doesn't feel right, like as soon as i walk in the door, i've done something wrong. So him rarely talking to me, creating a distance at work, makes it worse. Jodie can't talk to you and confide in you like she used to, because she knows you don't want to hear it. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, so i'm not going to openly share everything with everyone. The person i should be sharing it with is who i'm developing not only a close friendship, but a relationship with.

I am happy and feeling like me. There's more dancing, yoga, exercising, hanging out with old friends, coffee, seeing my family, enjoying actually coming home, writing and learning, reading and the list goes on. I've never tried to be anyone else. I'm happy... sometimes at work i don't seem happy, because it always seems so difficult to get along. Oh and another thing making me feel like me, my dammed sore throat! If only removing tonsils meant removing sore throats forever...

A good friend of mine once told a story about a little raindrop, which is he. He is enthusiastic in everything he does, is confident being him, and just like the little raindrop has overcome obstacles and doubt... come out on top, living his life with energy and passion. Check it out: http://stringsandstripes.blogspot.com/

Someday i hope to achieve this same goal, living life with energy and passion in everything i do. Since my asthma attack i can't dive, not anytime soon anyway. But i can snorkel, and enjoy the coral reefs closer to the surface. It also brought me back to yoga, because with deep inhalations i can control it. We are in control of our lives, don't ever think you're not. I'm strong, capable, flexible and can adapt to change and i will succeed. This is a challenge that i willingly accept, although i'm cautious, anxious and a little afraid, sometimes that brings out the best in us.

J.P.S

...and PS: it's the way he makes you feel. It's the way he kisses you. It's the way he holds you before you go to sleep at night, and what he whispers when you wake up.

He'll stare at you and tell you how happy you make him. It's that feeling your feeling when you want to keep feeling it. Happiness is never stopping to think if you are, but am i happy? Yes.