Not just a boring sack of flesh!!

Well at least im living A LIFE.

So its just past midnight and im sipping my camomile tea about to take a restavit planning on having a decent nights sleep! Although at times you know i feel like i wake up and i've been running a marathon at the rate my dreams go. There full of surprises and miraculous adventures i can tell you now, and nonetheless. It's like i jump from different continents and become ten different people. To what excitement will my dreams hold tonight? I can only imagine. I am imagination so dream a little dream.

Well, i woke up this morning and realised i should get my va jay jay zapped for a hair removal treatment, le eyebrows waxed and a new fringe cut - looks like im on my way to being summer ready! Now all i need is a new bikini, cancel my gym membership and take a cruise on my new bicycle. I don't need a gym to exercise as im a lot more motivated by myself and being able to just get out in the open and do my own thing excites me a hell of a lot more. I chilled out for the most part of the day, listened to sum 41 and eric clapton (random i know) completed a quarter of the elephant puzzle, walked the dog, watched neighbours and figured out what im going to paint next. I am missing Rockhampton. I sigh at the thought of this. I never meant to meet anyone than a young lad tattooed up from Gympie steps into my rear view mirror so to speak and objects in the mirror are closer than they appear and now i just can't get enough. If i could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. Better put on my sunscreen (you to mister 'i wear a long sleeve shirt!') Im off to the beach tomorrow afternoon with my dad and the dog and whoever else wants to come, as the weather is just beautiful and im keen for some sunshine, exercise and a hit of vitamin d.

Rocky has turned out to be even better than i thought. Thank you Brisbane Electrical, im off to la la land to ride a big jet plane and im not coming back! (not for a few hours, please, we have tales to travel upon)

Until the stars fall, i cherish the thought,

JP xx

PS: a kiss is a peculiar proposition... and proposition me you did!

I think i've had enough

I think i've finally had enough and the saying "Life is long if you know how to use it, springs to mind, well okay Seneca, you've got me again. We live our lives each day wanting more and more. It's not that we aren't satisfied with what we have, we yearn for peace, love and adventure. I love the ambitious nature humans hold - without it we wouldn't be where we are today. The technological advances in our society would cease to be but a dream. As human beings we live and learn, make mistakes and justify our actions, or why a person treats you the way they do. We sleep either too much or not enough and let peoples negative comments take a hold of us and bring us down. We forget that each of us have our own stories, our own little dark secrets we hide from others. At times, these secrets creep up on you in the most unexpected ways and you share them without even thinking to your surprise or dismay. Maybe you weren't over it as much as you thought or perhaps you just needed to share it, to show that person you've also been in the same situation and empathise with them. It's amazing how differently people act to the same secret you hold. For me i was devastated and hurt. My heart ached and i wasn't right for a few months even though i'd made the right decision, where as another person in the same situation merely blurts it out without a thought of who was around her like she was spitting on the pavement.

I believe we should all be a little more sensitive and give people the space they desire. I've just spent a good few weeks up in Rockhampton writing, sleeping, shopping and drinking cocktails. I met a few interesting folk nonetheless (country towns - gotta love the country folk). I saw a few faces i met last time and tried to focus on myself. I must admit, i got a little bored at times and missed my family and friends. Its not that i wanted to come home, i just wanted to see the faces of people that know me through and through and of course my little dog Jenna. Im lucky to have the friends in my life that i do, that noticed when i was down. Even though i felt miles away just a few simple messages and phone calls picked me right back up. Now i'm home, im missing Rockhampton, or at least whats in Rocky. On my last day a friend took me to Nandos (because who doesn't love nandos?) and then we went for a drive out to Yeppoon to the beach. I didn't realise it before but the beach was closer than i thought.  For the first day of Spring, the weather couldn't have been better, it was so nice, and the company made my day.. Its nice to go to another town and meet new people that you get along with that don't really live so far away from your own home. Ah the serenity of good food and such a pretty beach. It got me wondering, why stress over the people that don't care about you in the same way? Forget it, i say.

IT KIND OF SUCKED having to come home for i really enjoy his company. I guess i have other reasons to go to Rocky now. I think i've definitely had enough of people who are constantly trying to prove themselves that they are 'cool'. Open your eyes and look in the mirror, whats behind all the make up? Honestly, it drives me up the wall when people give you unwarranted opinions and try and tell you how to live your life when they've only just met you. Anyway, this is just something short for i have a puzzle to get back to and headache pills to take. Until the stars fall, ignorance is bliss.

JP

29/08/12

29/08/12

How do we do? – Good morning world it’s a brand new day.

How do we do today? It seems like a fairly straightforward question, yet when asked all I can muster is a simple ‘okay.’ The personal calling me on the other line knows better. They know for a fact I’m not doing too well, otherwise I would brightly chime in with a ‘yeah I’m good, how are you?’ without a moments silence. Forgive me, I’m hopeful.

Where am I? Who am I? As human beings we are so ambitious. It may seem a little played out but no matter how you get there life has a way of finding you. I’m in Rockhampton hanging out, writing (a lot) and doing my own thing. I got my nails done yesterday, went shopping, saw the movie ‘The Campaign’ with a few friends and stayed up all night contemplating the subtleties of human existence, or watching One Tree Hill and Breaking Bad as matter of fact. Against all odds and against all obstacles human beings find a way. We are so ambitious, we spend the most part wanting, wishing and dreaming, and as long as we do it with a bit of integrity, and don’t let the failures diminish our spirit we get there in the end.

The phone rang and I dreamt I was in my room. Somewhere in the world a child Is being born, whilst another is losing their will to live. I’ve been reading some of Bukowskis poetry and prose on the verandah in the afternoons to let the time pass by as I wrote my own words and thoughts and dream of being at home.

In his poem ‘Mind and Heart’ he writes “peace of mind and heart arrives when we accept what is: having been born into this strange life we must accept the wasted gamble of our days and take some satisfaction in the pleasure of leaving it all behind. Cry not for me. Grieve not for me. Read what I’ve written then forget it all. Drink from the well of your self and begin again.” I sit on this single bed sucking on a lollipop noticing how I’m feeling. It’s really hot in here and all I want to do is write. I’m ready to come home but a whole part of me wants to stay away. Although some people are missing me so I better go home for a little while and see some friendly faces.