29/08/12
How do we do? – Good morning world it’s a
brand new day.
How do we do today? It seems like a fairly
straightforward question, yet when asked all I can muster is a simple ‘okay.’
The personal calling me on the other line knows better. They know for a fact
I’m not doing too well, otherwise I would brightly chime in with a ‘yeah I’m
good, how are you?’ without a moments silence. Forgive me, I’m hopeful.
Where am I? Who am I? As human beings we
are so ambitious. It may seem a little played out but no matter how you get
there life has a way of finding you. I’m in Rockhampton hanging out, writing (a
lot) and doing my own thing. I got my nails done yesterday, went shopping, saw
the movie ‘The Campaign’ with a few friends and stayed up all night
contemplating the subtleties of human existence, or watching One Tree Hill and
Breaking Bad as matter of fact. Against all odds and against all obstacles
human beings find a way. We are so ambitious, we spend the most part wanting,
wishing and dreaming, and as long as we do it with a bit of integrity, and
don’t let the failures diminish our spirit we get there in the end.
The phone rang and I dreamt I was in my
room. Somewhere in the world a child Is being born, whilst another is losing
their will to live. I’ve been reading some of Bukowskis poetry and prose on the
verandah in the afternoons to let the time pass by as I wrote my own words and
thoughts and dream of being at home.
In his poem ‘Mind and Heart’ he writes
“peace of mind and heart arrives when we accept what is: having been born into
this strange life we must accept the wasted gamble of our days and take some
satisfaction in the pleasure of leaving it all behind. Cry not for me. Grieve
not for me. Read what I’ve written then forget it all. Drink from the well of
your self and begin again.” I sit on this single bed sucking on a lollipop
noticing how I’m feeling. It’s really hot in here and all I want to do is
write. I’m ready to come home but a whole part of me wants to stay away.
Although some people are missing me so I better go home for a little while and
see some friendly faces.
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