Under the Moonlight

Under the Moonlight (2011)

By Jodie Stewart

I will not lie and pretend this is a silent night,

For fight the moons brightness shines through the dark of night.

The blackened sky is speckled with few stars, here and there,

Masking the beauty of the daylight, heavens not willing to share.

It shines so effortlessly through the fog, a halo unbroken

A tale of its own pure and wonder, for now, remains unspoken.

A whisper softly through the trees shivers through the world,

A story: not for the ears of those who cannot simply tell.

It is what it is, for what’s done is done; yet nothing remains in stone.

The beauty through the blackened sky is one of a kind to show.

Constantly changing, imitating, conditioning and a simply yearn,

To illustrate the beauty of what’s inside, two words: desires turn.

Give thanks to the courage and grace, inspiration merely more,

A dance step and little turn, an old dress weary and torn.

It's repetition, again and again, spinning round and sound,

Hurry, hide and close your eyes the daylights coming round.

Somethings missing.

          You know how warm, cinnamon doughnuts have that perfect fluffy and light texture covered in cinnamon - the smell of them make you yearn for them even more, then one bite and, heaven! But then, theres always something missing, the centre of the doughnut is always empty - this is how i feel.

          I never usually second guess my decisions and choices, however, when something happens and you're lacking support from the one person you need it most, it most certainly leaves you feeling empty and discouraged. Like what you share together doesn't mean all that much to the other person like it means to you. It's the little things in life that make our lives whole, and one text message, saying 'i'm thinking of you' is all it takes. We meet people in our lives, our friendships come and go, and as sad as it may be for some, when you're in a relationship with someone, there are certain things that go with it.

Sticks and stones are hard on bones

Aimed with angry art,

Words can sting like anything

But silence breaks the heart.

~Phyllis McGinley, "Ballade of Lost Objects," 1954

          Basically, what we need is a hand that rests on our own. What we need is for others to respect the relationship you're in with someone and for both in the relationship to respect that to. It's no wonder people prefer not to commit to a relationship - they would much rather not have the responsibility, and prefer to be with whoever, whenever, for however long they wish, then flick them off because they don't mean anything anyway. Many one night stands (ew) and different people "fun" as they would say. Because being with heaps of people, is more important than sharing something special with one person. Remember, something is always missing from that lifestyle to. We all make mistakes and let go. Once its gone, theres no going back, so what would you do? I've heard from people recently that miss me; being with me, my personality and so forth. Was it all worth it in the end that i made the mistake of giving them more than an abundance of chances? No. Because i, in the end, had the ultimate price to pay. It's not good to regret things - the past doesn't matter, but if i could take back our very first meeting, then i would. 

          Least the sun is shining, and i can keep busy studying. Exams soon. Fuck. 

All there is of you

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

 "make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

          Sometimes, we have to be our own best friends. 

Sometimes, we have to trust in our gut instincts and respect our anxieties - maybe they are trying to tell you something. 

          I believe that understanding your own emotions is so important to your health and well-being, and to the well-being of those around you. Understanding the answer to the question "why do i react the way i do?"

          It takes courage to face up to how you feel and accept that your actions are going to hurt someone. It takes strength to believe that you're doing the right thing. Sometimes, it takes sacrifice to put others before yourself. Does the end, justify your means?

It's a beautiful thing.

          Well, what is? You tell me. Life, is a beautiful thing for one. Look around you, take a step back and let yourself fall into the environment around you. Maybe the sun isn't shining, but embrace it, for the world gives us new challenges and hurdles everyday that we as human beings must overcome. Embrace the coldness of the winter period, because somewhere in the world, someone is colder than you. Embrace your warm water in the shower for not all have electricity. Appreciate what you have, as an individual and as a family unit. Some people aren't so lucky.

It's an inspiring thing.

          Is it? Does it make you feel like you can conquer the world? Does it give you courage to step outside your boundaries and truly let go?

It's magical.

          Do you feel truly alive? Do you stand tall in the face of whatever this world throws at you and stand up for what you believe in, but more so, who you are as a person?

It's your life.

          Bon Jovi wasn't kidding when he wrote that 'its your life, and it's now or never.'

Embrace opportunities, because the biggest mistake that i made was being afraid. Being afraid to be me again. Now that i'm here, i know that with my support network, i can conquer anything. Faith has been restored. And fuck it feels good!

JP xx
 

It's Just Simply Introspective.

          "I'm about to turn 22, so i suppose you get a little introspective knowing there's no going back now" - - Jodie Stewart

          Exactly one month ago i sat in this very same chair, on my laptop, and typed away about my roadtrip with my boyfriend to Yamba, Angourie and Byron Bay. One month later and i'm inspired to write once more, and yet it seems like my last blog post was over a year ago, considering how full on my weeks have been studying my second semester at Bond University. Bruce Springsteens 'Secret Garden' begins my itunes playlist. I suppose i'm almost a little shy, when it comes to expressing my emotions today which is a very rare thing for me. Nothing is wrong. The truth is, i feel as though i need to calm down and focus more of my attention inward toward myself and what i need, instead of directing it outward. Perhaps, this is what we call an introspective period.
          My first month of Bond has rushed by. Mid-semester exams are approaching fast for my psychology classes; Developmental and Intro to Psychology: Biology and Personality. I've found some amazing videos and other useful resources to help in my studies but have realised i need to relax and have some time to myself, before thrusting my mind back into the whirlwind of literature its currently exposed to. I'm having a ball, and i'm excited by the prospect of perhaps delving further into psychology as a career. It's only early days and i don't ever know how i could afford to do it, yet it's something i'm very keen on. Just as i am with becoming a yoga teacher. Mum gave me the idea last night i could do massage also, so there are options available to me depending on the path i'd like to take. Even if i don't pursue psychology, these subjects are giving me an excellent grounding in human development from 'womb to tomb' and interesting notes on what is considering 'normal' during a childs developmental process cognitively, physically, emotionally and psychosocially. I feel grateful i can relate to a lot of it, and am understanding more and more about my own personal upbringing, and the upbringing of my siblings and the different affects parenting styles have on children, and there values when they are older.
          It's never been unusual for me to be interested in understanding myself, my own behaviour and how my attitudes and values affect the person i am and how i live my life today, therefore, my introductory psychology class: biology and personality is providing me with excellent knowledge skills. I like to think that i have a balanced emotional IQ about people, and through understanding myself, will furthermore understand others. My mum has always been great inspiration here. Her emotional IQ is outstanding, and it's no wonder her workplace think so highly of her as a team leader who concentrates on building a team, and using her interpersonal skills to bring the best out in people. You know, i'm lucky dad convinced her to have another child. Thanks dad.
          We don't always find things easy living in the world we do, yet, when we have people who support our ideals, our ideas, and value us as worthwhile human beings, we can accomplish more than we know. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind, and as much as we don't like to admit it, sometimes your parents were right.