follow your heart

Its times like these when you realise what you want and what you need in your life. When it boils down to it, you can always control the way you act and react to situations. We always have time on our sides, its never fading. Every second and every moment you have to make it last.

Pain comes in stages and if we don't make it, nothing changes. So, i haven't rang the doctors to make my 20min appointment or gone for my blood test. I know its for my own good so I better do it tomorrow morning otherwise i will keep getting hassled. I am missing my best friend, its hard to adjust to these circumstances and not having him around has sent me crazy. I'm a mental, head case - don't take that literally. Work will be interesting tomorrow, hopefully its not raining because the water is too damn cold!! And hopefully we have an update on our computer - of course ill only find out tomorrow, who would text and tell me? Least there's a few people at work who will definitely make me smile such as the count, some of the ops girls, maybe a diver or two... and some crazy dolphin trainers. Hell, what am i saying, a lot of people make me smile its just up to me whether i let whats affecting me, affect me at work. I have a meeting tomorrow and before my day even begins, i'll be hitting the pavement for 30mins with my spoodle.

Last night was a good night. Dinner and a movie with friends then of course baskin and robbins icecream. Unfortunately no love potion but nevertheless boysenberry patch! yum! My side mirror is on my car again, the door handle was fixed and worked for 24hours but now its wrecked again. Figures. And this afternoon mum and I jammed my back window with wood and packing so it doesn't fall down. I've been pretty busy on my days off trying to get everything organised but had a lot of me time. The best thing? I managed to sleep through on monday night, which was very exciting, but then last night even though i had a nice, long bath with coconut oil beforehand i had a very interrupted sleep. Dream, after dream and a nightmare to top it all off, then i woke at 10am. The nightmare was scary yet annoying. I haven't had that nightmare for a year now, it was so colourful and vivid. I swore it was happening and i remember every detail. I couldn't get to sleep for a long time afterwards so i'm surprised i didn't wake up at lunchtime or something. Its one of those recurring dreams that happens every now and then and doesn't seem to sway. I don't read into my dreams but this was scarier than usual. It seems to get worse the older i get. ah well, hopefully it doesn't come back tonight.

Roast for dinner and partner dancing tonight, hopefully this all helps.