Here and Now.

Do you ever think that people come in and out of your life for a reason? Every person we meet whether its short term or long term teaches us something. It could be a mistake you've made with a person, a falling out of a friendship you never thought would have any complications, a new beginning with someone you just met or a stranger who asks you the time on a street corner. These people in our lives become apart of life's little lessons. Each lesson helps us to grow and become confident in who we are and the person we want to be. We are lead into mysterious directions at times. We are torn from our safe zone and thrown into the thick of it, like a blizzard in the dessert or a duck out of water, but when we reflect back on the choices we've made, the conversations we've had and the different interpretations of events, if we take something positive out of the experience and as long as we aim to learn something from these experiences we will become stronger and more courageous for the next lesson. We learn from our mistakes so that next time we are faced with a similar experience and a choice is to be made, hopefully, we won't make the same mistake again. It isn't as easy as 'a,b,c' but take it in steps such as 1,2,3.

We all act differently depending on the company we surround ourselves with, depending how close we are to the person or if you have just met. You know the feeling when you meet someone and you feel like you already know the person. The conversation never ends. The pieces of the puzzle begin to blend in and become one giant piece of a larger puzzle that is your life and your journey. Kind of like the boat i'm paddling in now. At the moment i'm just enjoying my newfound company and learning more about the person i am. I love me, and i'm learning more and more each day about what i love and what really ticks me off. As i get older i realise its better to have less friends that you can focus on and give the time to and vice versa, instead of trying to juggle between a large number of acquaintances. These people just see you as another number, because when its your turn to need someone because of something thats happened in your life, suddenly, no one is there. Right now i'm on one of the best journeys in my life i've ever known, an eternal quest of knowing oneself. Our lives aren't mapped out in front of us we have to take chances. Im focusing on eating well and doing what makes me happy because no one wants to be around someone who sits at home full of frown and misery. I feel my emotions and i'm aware of whats going on but even then that doesn't mean you can switch them off like a light switch. I got so fed up just before tears just fell down the sides of my cheeks. We get fed up but instead of bottling up your emotions its better to let it out because you feel so much better afterwards and its like things suddenly become more clearer. Im fed up of limping and not having any decent money with bills piling up and im fed up of menstrual issues, its no wonder i need so many iron tablets. I like to see the funny side of it but it gets me down sometimes. Not to worry though, i have a trip to the naturopath tomorrow and then hopefully heading out into the countryside for the afternoon to soak up some scenery.

To those of you unable to find what it is you really want to do with your life, don't worry so much. Turn your focus inward and look inside yourselves. When you start doing things for you instead of everyone else around you, the road becomes so much clearer.

Until the stars fall

JP xx