The best things about this month:
healthy eating, beautiful beaches and spending time with loved ones.
Its been an interesting past few days in terms of the new job getting underway, spending time with friends and helping them out with their own problems and seeing an old friend again. Saturday afternoon i dropped by an old friends place to catch up. I hadn't seen him for quite some time and had a few things i had to apologise for that he already knew about, but after seeing him, i felt so much more at ease in my mind with my decisions and actions that led me back to being in his life again. Its hard to explain, but its like i've done a full circle. I realised that my heart was broken last year and it wasn't any mans doing. Anyway, i filled the void of it by putting my energy into something else, into someone else and realised when things needed to end the hurt and anger i bottled up from so many months before also made me a lot more angry at the person. Anyway, thats in the past and the promising thing about it all is that i now realise why i reacted to things i did. When you are faced with something that feels so beyond your capabilities to deal with, its hard to not let your emotions overtake you. Honestly, it's overwhelming, devastating, frustrating and so on. Now i am not saying the relationship i was in last year was perfect at all because it wasn't and i'm a lot happier now we aren't together, but it doesn't mean tht we can't be friends at least. We had a lot of good and happy times together. I cannot be angry no more.
In terms of the job, im a little overwhelmed by the whole idea and feel i need to just relax and get my health issues sorted before trying to throw myself into a full time position and working 6 days a week. I have a low immune system from adrenal gland insufficiency and am trying my best to boost my immunity and get better. Luckily im having an IUD (mirena) put in on Tuesday which will help me out a lot because im tired of popping a pill everyday that fucks around with your hormones.
Im feeling pretty good about the next month. I have family coming over from England for two weeks and i am getting so excited, i just cannot wait to see them. I met them when i was 14 and haven't seen them since, hence i am getting so anxious to see them again. It's going to be great. I just spent the weekend in Byron again and it was so nice being there. I love the drive down there. The scenery is so good. Last time i was there weekend of Mothers day i took a wrong turn and ended up driving the tweed valley way home, rang dad and said i had no idea where i was. I had no where to be and enjoyed the scenery listening to music and spending time in my own head. Its good to spend time by yourself, indulge in your own thoughts and personal space but ill admit, it's not always easy. Im actually thinking about going somewhere else for a few months to get away and have a casual job for a change of scenery. I can't really afford it at the moment but if i get enough cash together to just get there, it wouldn't be to hard. Byron really was so good today, i didn't want to leave. I wanted to spend another night there and have a few drinks, watch the byron sun set. Its such a beautiful place, makes for a nice getaway, and good company, well thats just a bonus.
Im thinking these vegemite corn thins for dinner were the best idea yet. Until the stars fall,
JP.
Ever think it's a chance willing to take?
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