I am the voice left weightless wings...

I've created a dream box - inside it holds my hopes and dreams. It represents me from the inside/out and holds treasures only i know what they mean. Its my second dream box considering my first was a complete failure - the materials didn't last long so i upgraded and recreated it, better than the first. Its like Woody Allen says "if you don't fail now and again it's a sign your playing it safe!" I do know that no one knows what it looks like, what it holds, what it means, however if you know me and you want to openly get to know me, little by little you will see what my dream box really means and how it represents me. I opened my dream box tonight and as i pulled out the components individually, a smile drew across my face. I was happy. Sure, things are on my mind, but when aren't they? I rarely sleep a full nights sleep, i'm awaken so easily, however i used to sleep like a baby at Harleys even though he would snore like a chopper! Perhaps i should read a book before bed to relax my mind and ease into a deep sleep.

Its difficult letting go of things you become attached to. My ex still crosses my mind and i do miss him and only want for him to be happy. I'm told i should be a little more selfish and focus on me, so i am. Ha, i just opened my top desk drawer and found my old 'Journey' book from grade 11. I used to write random quotes, sayings, diary entries etc into it and i completely forgot it was in there. On May 16th 2005, i wrote "when we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life" -- Greg Anderson. I haven't heard a saying like that in a while, and sometimes it's these kinds of sayings that wake us up to realise, hey focus on you! hmmm what does life mean to me? Changing what i can, accepting what i cant and having the wisdom to know the difference. It is possible to keep things in perspective, you just have to practice. All these little things i wrote in the
'journey' book in senior school, how interesting... hey just found a poem i wrote...

A Memory (2005) COPYRIGHT JODIE STEWART
That moment of eternity that touches one so deep,
shining lights, a thousand cries, ones dream.

Perpetuity, one moment, the stem to the rose,
Endless days of love and passion, nurture and growth.

Bring to life a dull like madness churning deep within
Yet to shine, single moments, one dream.

Flying, high above, doubts and nerves expected,
laughter, tears of joy and hate, various emotions.

That triumph of a job well done, will there be anymore?
Everlasting hope, a thousand dreams, an act?

One place, one hope, one timeless journey,
one that forever ends...
a journey through the past of a time on stage, i shall not forget.

Music: My only Hope (2oo5) COPYRIGHT JODIE STEWART


Sitting in a corner down a deserted alleyway,
the fear of loss and loneliness creeps slowly down my spine,
Endless sounds of crying cats and howling dogs around me,
fears yet non-stop thoughts of isolation; just a dream.

No roof, no shelter, my absent mind is led astray,
the ticking of one thousand clocks whispering through the wind.
Falling rain, a surge of emotion, drowning beneath a pool,
Scars and bruises fading but the pain remains; mindless fool.

Abandoned from childish games, ruins to explore
tears flow from darkened eyes, hatred builds within.
One thing saves me from this fight, a sound heard from afar
Powerful essence fills the alleyway, the strumming of ones guitar.

Touch of music in the distance, reverberates through a lost soul,
electric sensations, hearts racing, a voice within.
Time travels fast, i awaken and it's all a dream,
guitar beside me...one strum to go, pathetic it may seem.

Alleyway is my home, where i bleed my heart and soul,
through music, my old guitar, mighty hope.
To sit and busk my way through life a thick skin needs shedding,
it's tough! hard to crack, tired of this setting.

At the dawn of dusk, i lay to weep.
Shed my light, hope and dream.