eyes wide shut

As a young person about to turn 21 and moving into the 'adult' world so to speak, it's interesting to note the types of groups people segment us all into. Depending on the way we look, talk, think and act depends on the type of person we are ect. ect. and interestingly enough, how we've been brought up, the people we associate ourselves with and so on has an affect on the way we lead life ourselves and what is important to us. Throughout ancient history this is pretty much how life was led. Those who were supposedly witches were burnt at the stake. If you didn't care about politics you were ostracised from society and deemed unworthy. If someone made a stand and said something out of the ordinary they were shunned. So what determines what is right and what is wrong? Who decides on whats the best thing to say in certain situations, hows the 'right' way to act?

Philosophers over many generations sat down and thought about these kind of simple statements and created arguments about them. Depending on the 'philosophy' they followed, depended on the way their arguments were carried out.

Epicurus - His world-view is an optimistic one that stresses that philosophy can liberate one from fears of death and the supernatural, and can teach us how to find happiness in almost any situation.
This philosopher is the first that always springs to mind! Lucky enough to have heard about him in senior ancient history, and then to learn his philosophy in uni, i find him intriguing.

Im not going to spend all night explaining different philosophies and how i interpret them, or what i exactly get from reading about them but i will say this. ---- always be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of anyone else. Stop trying to be someone else, and live up to someone elses standards because each of us have experienced what we know of life so far, differently. Don't regret. Learn from mistakes and accept when you are wrong. I'm energetic, erratic, anxious, independent, worthy, strong, loyal, loving, empathetic, crazy and a little selfish. A roller coaster ride so enjoy it! You never know when your experiences can help someone else and this i've definitely learned lately. ----

On another note. I'm tired of not being told things fair and square. There's always beacons of hope in everything we do. But im not sue whats happening. Usually i only give people one chance to be my friend or lover and if it doesn't work out i don't go back. There's an interesting saying, "when you grab something, grab it. When you let it go, let it go" Simple yet true. I believe the right decision will be made eventually but i can't wait around for nothing. I used to struggle with knowing how i feel about something 100% and i couldn't talk to my partner at the time about it. I needed nearly two weeks to figure out in my head what was going on. The main response i could give to someone questioning me was 'i dunno..' - This however is a slack attempt where your mind simply gives up and can't be bothered so to speak. It takes alot of strength and courage to tell someone the truth and be 100% HONEST. Everyone is going to hurt someone. Ive broken peoples hearts and my heart in turn has been broken. A sunset eventually turns into a sunrise - Same place, different setting. I can't stress enough to people the importance of honesty and not being afraid to give yourself to someone. The past few months have been difficult for me and i admit it. I tried to make things seem better than what they were and held hope in my heart for the people i really care about. Today? I need to know 100%.