A simple rant

Sometimes even the best laid plans fall apart so i'm taking each day as it comes and enjoying having a break and you know what, every now and then you get lucky and the universe delivers the perfect solution.


For now, this i promise to myself.In the busyness of life i promise to slow down... Live in the moment. Breathe. Kick my heels up. Remember my dreams. Smile. Eat chocolate and let it melt in my mouth slowly. Dance in the moon light and look up to the stars. Love with all of my heart. Be true to myself. Meditate...think only health and happiness. Laugh out loud. Let no one break my spirit.
BELIEVE everything is possible and never, ever give up. ♥♥

Well after a splendid day of drinking champagne and dancing on the table (okay next to the table) i'm sitting here on my bed looking at the paintings on my wall i have recently hung and wondering what's missing. I contemplate for a moment pulling everything down and starting again. Hmm.. no thats not a good idea at all, because although my room doesn't quite have the finished coherence just yet, i like it as it is. It describes my personality and how i'm feeling to a tee right now. Nothing quite like the feeling of an all over the place 'up in the air' type of look where things aren't gelling together. I have a silvery metallic bedspread with a black flower design over it, photographs of sunflowers, dream catchers large and small, a medium sized mirror on my wall with a small bird etching. Theres a banner that dangles lightly from the ceiling with seven pictures of the crescent moon designs falling in sections below it, made in Indonesia. Below the banner i have hung a few of the paintings i've painted recently. To be honest, i have no idea if they are good or not, however, i've received some great compliments so far, i guess i need an expert opinion. I have two vases with flowers in them, teddy bears from the 'me to you' teddy bear collection sitting on my dresser, along with candles, framed photographs and bracelets. A small trinket box with an elephant handcrafted on the top from my best friend from Bali sits next to my Vera Wang Rock Princess perfume, of which i have just added the Calvin Klein Euphoria, Eternity Moments (my three favourites for this month). There is a beautifully handwoven lamp that sits in the corner with a simple banner above it - the definition of wisdom written over it with a purple background. Wisdom: knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed. Slowly i've been redecorating my room to make it feel more homely. I bought a black and white shaggy rug to sit on the floor next to my bed, but since it was a cheaper rug i bought from K mart, the dye from the rug seeps through onto the carpet as the damp rises from the surface beneath. Unlucky. I'm going to give the rug away and purchase one with a backing underneath. Anyway, my room  denotes a sense of soul searching. As each day passes i look in the mirror and say to myself 'one day at a time.' I'm expecting nothing and appreciating everything. In terms of what i have in this world, how lucky i am to have grown up and achieved what i have. How lucky and grateful i am to have a family that cares for me how they do, even though we don't always show it, i believe we are always in each others thoughts. I've dealt through my own battles and difficult decisions with their own negative repercussions, ones you just move forward from but never forget. I've made my way through a field of sunflowers, arms open wide looking into the sun with positivity, admiration and dedication to achieve my goals. I've also set myself up for failure and deliberately ruined things on purpose. I've broken a heart or two and had my heart broken, and passed up opportunities to be a better person and let it fly right by me, but all of these things i've done have made me who i am today and i won't sit there and tell someone i don't like myself, and that im not proud of me. There are things i look back on in my life and say to myself 'well, i shouldn't have done that, and who knows what could have happened if this went this way and blah blah blah.' We cannot live our lives in a world of if's, buts and maybes, but we can look back on what we did and how we reacted to those situations we were thrown into and make a conscious decision not to make the same mistake again, walk down a new road, take the next train, slow down, breathe and for gods sake drink some rum and not give a dam. 

I believe that we live in such a fast paced world, its like we don't know how to relax, but if you relax too much, you are lazy and unmotivated, if you work and run yourself ragged you don't take care of yourself enough. We can't win, yet i believe if you are happy to simply sit there and watch the world go by then so what. If you are happy to throw yourself into your work (for i don't know why!). Enjoy it. Life is long if we know how to use it, and instead of one day's, tomorrow's and next year, start today, doing what you want and take control of your own life because at the end of the day no one gives a shit what happens to you, how much money you have, what you are wearing, where you live and how many facebook friends you have. No one cares. And if you want to take photos of yourself and upload them on your instagram or facebook because you kind of like the way you look and think its a nice photo, then go ahead and do it. If i want to wake up tomorrow, go to the gym, walk my dog and get a tattoo i will because it's my life and the people who want to be in your life, will be. This year has shown me the true side to how people act and live. Why we do what we do, for reasons sometimes i still don't understand but its all a learning curve. 

DO NOT chase people, just be you and do your OWN thing. Work hard or don't work at all. The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay. 

I am off to drink some camomile tea, light some candles, and get working on my book. Until the stars fall, sleep tight, and if you're woken through the night it's just an angel passing by...

xx