The day after, the day of love.

Firstly i would like to mention that this is my 100th blog post.

100th!

...Sure, it should have come a lot sooner. As i'll admit (once again) i've been lazy and haven't had the time to give my blog the attention it deserves. Never say never as an old friend used to say to me from Seaworld. Not just any old friend, a person i considered my best friend at the time, and although we have parted and life has taken different courses for the both of us i still hold him in high regard and think of him often, hoping he is happy in all parts of his life. The little things. Often we would discuss the little things, stay up late texting each other the biggest text conversations ever, (mine with many spelling errors due to trying to text type too quickly and dictionary never working on my phone). Always, no matter what hour of the day, rain or shine, he was there for me and i'll never forget it. He helped me through a rough patch in my life. So im not sure if you're reading this, i know you check it often to see if i've posted since you were always my number one supporter apart from my dad who says every blog of mine is good, but i'm writing again. Writing again thanks to our conversation on facebook the other night. Writing because it feels right. I write because i love it.

 Fuck i miss writing and so much has happened in my life that one little blog post stating im back again aint going to do it justice. You should see the scribbles of thoughts on random pieces of paper floating about my room and on my desk and in my handbag. Urgh! So many times i've wanted to get back on here but the timing wasn't right. But when is it right! Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected of course they are. From the people we meet when we aren't expecting to meet anyone, to what you're having for lunch tomorrow hell you don't know, unless you are one of those prepared anal people who set out everything according to plan including the next 7 meals you're having for lunch. Or maybe you just wanna save money and the easiest thing to do is have leftovers for lunch. well, whatever the reason, im writing so if your drinking a JD and coke, a beer, glass of red or sipping your champagne, or skolling your herbal supplement shot and chasing it with a glass of orange juice because your immune system is so low you're on a weird plan (okay ill get to that later...) raise your glass because im back baby! Oh i forgot to mention...that can wait to. OKAY deep breath, close your eyes, get that butt comfy and get writing.

So much to catch up on. well, you what. The most interesting part to me is the fact that ... drum roll please.. I HAVE A SISTER. Alright, so she is my half sister, but nevertheless, i have a sister and just after christmas 2011, my older brother and i flew to melbourne to meet up with my dad and two older half brothers (try not get to confused) to meet her. We spent quite a bit of time together sightseeing and getting to know each others idiosyncrasies, letting the sis in on a few family secrets (you know, what the father as she calls him is really like) haha dad i promise it was all good....... well you were there for some of it haha. Hey, might as well learn the truth in the present, now or never, how he was as a father to us, the work stuff, the separation between him and my mum, him as a child and so on. Unfortunately my other older brother wasn't able to make it with his wife (yes wife!) he got married on Dec 15th so he beat all of us to the punch. I suppose he is meant to.. he is older than me.. anywho, back to melbourne. So we had a great time spending the days and nights together, getting to a little more about each other and the best part was that i got to spend some quality time not only with my sister but with Joshua, my older half brother from New Zealand. I enjoyed our discussions because he was very empathetic and understanding about the health problems i'd been through last year and it was nice to talk to someone who understood exactly what i was going through. What a big brothers for i guess? :) Of course i loved the zoo mostly out of everything we did as an outing because the zoo is where its at! The animals are beautiful and i could have watched the elephants all day. Since my last trip to the zoo one of the elephant females had had her baby so it was great to watch the two babies play together and interact with their mothers and the other female. The only thing was the heat was a killer that day. Sometimes the weather got up to 40+ degrees so it was a little hard to stay hydrated. One thing missing from my trip to melbourne was of course my mum, but also a friend of mine from highschool who lives there. Everytime i've been to Melbourne i've always had good intentions of catching up with him, yet it never seems to happen. He is one of the most talented and clever kids i know, and i miss him dearly. One day ill get round to seeing that face of his whilst im there, unless he goes jet setting to America!

Now considering im, well me, and im always sick, surprise, surprise I got a little sick on new years eve and had to leave dinner early. I was throwing up in the ladies bathroom and felt so ill and nautious i had to go home and miss out on the buzz of New Years and seeing the fireworks at Federation Square. At least i got to watch it on video the next day... You know, it's about time this sickness business stopped. Im tired of feeling sick. Over the past 2 weeks, nearly 3, i've had an awful viral infection with severe headaches, fevers, chills, night sweats, vomiting, sore throat and coughing with the most terrible muscle and joint aches i've ever felt. Believe me i was so glad that the pain in my joints stopped not long after my trip to hospital because that is not something i want to feel again! Anyway, im feeling a lot better now and i've seen a naturopath to get on top of it. Im on vitamin B tablets twice a day, immune boosters twice a day, a herbal supplement three times a day and a super smoothie with protein, oat milk, chia seeds, flaxseed oil, lecithen and fruit. Its pretty good actually and i have noticed a difference. I've just been taking it easy instead of throwing myself into the deep end. Apparently i have a really low immune system (i believe that) and adrenal gland insufficiency. Everything that was explained to me though is very helpful and i can see why my body is the way it is today. Its very disappointing that i had to drop my massage course because i missed too many sessions, however, i've decided to have a break from study, find a job and focus on saving to study massage next year. Im only 22 years old and i have an entire life ahead of me. I want to save some money so i can move out of home and start living my own life.

Its not a bad thing living at home i just want my own space sometimes and its hard to get it here. Sometimes i need to be by myself, otherwise, i get pretty moody. I am trying to control it and learn why i get the way i do but by gee its difficult sometimes! I miss my dad. He's living with my brother and his wife in Calamvale and doesn't have a car so he can't really visit me. I know i can contact him on skype or call him on the phone but i wish sometimes he'd think to call me and ask me if im okay. He's never been good at that...