The Re-flect

Okay, so its not as exciting as Duran Durans 'The Reflex' but songs such as these are in my head lately and i can't get enough of them. At least once a day i'm playing Mondo Rock's 'Come Said the Boy', sad, i know yet isn't it wonderful when songs remind you of happy times in your lives? Ive been busy lately reminiscing and enjoying each day as it comes and thought id give my blog a rest. Today is the first day of Spring, its the predicaments birthday so we are heading out to dinner tonight, my volunteering begins next wednesday and its christmas day in 4 months. Where has the year gone? Ive spent the last week with sore muscles, sugar cravings and planning what i hope the next 4 months to be. Yoga is going great and my hip feels good at the moment and i'm looking forward to dancing this friday night in Broady. Our burmese cat milo is crying out, i'm typing this in the study and i hear a cry of meooooow!! He thought he was left alone in the house. Silly milo... oh there he goes again. This time its a chorus of meows. I think he just wants a drink from the tap... instead of his bowl. (princess)

Its been interesting at work and i haven't felt the most comfortable. With everything that's gone on i'm finding it difficult to be in the booth with everyone. I ask a question and i get a mumble as an answer. The booth used to be a fun, relaxed place *at times* i might add, yet now i don't feel comfortable and its an awful feeling. I'm trying to take each day as it comes, make the appropriate phone calls, exercise, eat well and such but sometimes all i'm eating at lunch is a can of mother and a packet of dorritos. Food from the canteen rarely and subway doesn't feel the same. Things will get better over time but for now, i've got to sit in the swell.

I spoke to Harley last night about his knee operation and it was nice to talk about things and have him open up more than usual. Communication is so important in relationships whether its with your family, friends or your partner. I was always honest with him about my feelings but he was a closed book - you could never get past the first chapter and now i see and understand so much more. MEOOWW! Another chorus of cries... i think he is actually missing my brother. Milo and him spend the day together but he is out at the moment. I miss the old times with my best friend. Ice cream, soccer, me falling asleep on the phone because he is talking about Formula 1... laughing and having fun together. I know that we won't ever be as close as we were, and i thank him for all the times he has been there for me. Right now, its a time for change. We are at completely different stages in our lives. I just want him to know i think about him and want him to be happy. I want Harley to be happy too.. and i want him to not be afraid. Its okay to be a little reserved and cautious when discovering a new person, however if you hesitate to long just like a new born butterfly, it will fly away.

Butterflies are beautiful little creatures that show us to grasp things as they come, don't hold back. I saw three butterflies yesterday and their grace as they fluttered through the air made me happy. So what 5 things make me happy? My Family, My Friends, Sunflowers, Elephants (animals) and warm Cuddles. I was at the predicaments on monday night and it was so good to be in his arms. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Sure i've had crushes and thought people were cute, but this is different. Ive said it before, its unexpected, spontaneous and its just like one of my friends has always said "your either in or your out, and no one cautiously steps into things, they fall.." and i've fallen for the predicament. He says things that make my heart skip a beat. It races with excitement before i kiss him, and looking into his eyes makes me weak at the knees. This is what its all about. I'm really happy and its great to be me again bar the stuff i feel at work. He likes me for me. The ins and the outs, the good, the bad, the anxious... he likes me. I think that's pretty special.

You know, above my laptop in the study is a purple cork board with photos of everything i love on there including my 7 year old cousins drawings. In 2008 at uni i made a turtle documentary and without fail she wants to watch it all the time, so today i'm posting it to her with a card in the mail. I miss my cousin so much, and would love a sunday off every now and then because that's the only day i can spend the day with her. I don't know when ill get a rostered sunday off, probably never... but i miss her so, so much. In my 21st birthday card, she spelt my name with a backward J so it looks like Todie.. haha so adorable. I used to do exactly the same. She makes me happy and puts a smile on my face everytime. Family is so important to me and i cant wait to have children of my own. Born with innocence, kids are brave and courageous, frightened, concerned, empathetic, sympathetic, loving and so on. I can't wait to have a child and give them everything that i've been given in my life. Love, nurturing, support and care. Now that is special. I know this probabaly isn't the most interesting blog, but to be honest, this is whats on my mind. My family and friends and my cousin. She is a blessing and i hope to one day have that same blessing.