Picture in A frame

I painted a picture within a frame of everything i loved. I turned around and it was blank.

Without honesty, there's no base to fall back on. When things get tough, beating around the bush and not saying what you truly feel (even though you can't make sense of it yourself) can do more harm than good. Since before i can remember, actually i'm sure George would be able to tell me, i've strived to be honest in everything i do, and with the people i meet. When something does not feel quite right, your subconscious has picked it up and its at these times, we go with our gut instincts. They are always right.

So duck out of water, or as i said tiger in the ocean...now, that statement shows you just how much i know about animals; tigers absolutely love water and can swim up to 5kms in the ocean. I should have gone with my original saying, a tiger in a desert. Anyway, like a duck out of water life's roller coaster picks you up when you least expect it, taking you on a joyride, but when we are honest about how we feel, alot of the anguish, anxiousness and paranoia felt, disappears. Our gut instincts are inbuilt in us for a reason. They develop over time to help us with our decision making and choices. Patience is a virtue but the wait is very difficult, and im glad for the honesty. I try to be as open minded as possible about different things, but sometimes, your mind is like clockwork.

Controlling the minds clockwork, the magician works his magic,

he clings onto the small mechanics ties, does none but panic.

The metal won’t fit snuggly, its shifty, rusted and ruined,

travelling the world for this antique clock, clearly it’s not a shoe in.

One tick to get the day started, an alarm rings in the distance,

Two blinks the muscles twitch, the ligaments are tight,

Three elephants to feed, pet and show affection,

Four friends to comfort you and
Five things you don't even need to mention the

Six worries that are on your mind but

Seven foods relieve you, there’s

Eight easy steps onto the path of stillness, so let’s do it.

Nine kisses from the ones you love, surprises and more,

Ten sea shells found below the surface on the ocean floor.

Eleven lucky sunflowers turning in the wind,

Twelve tears falling down your cheeks, why did you not listen?

Clockwork is a motion never ending or beginning,

breathlessness isn’t a warning but a mere beacon of hope.

Reflection of a past memory teaches us our boundaries,

in times like these, head over feet, just grasp the simple scope.

Heart it races, touch your toes, go crazy for a split second,

and listen to the silence of your breath.

Everybody’s free, so get it like you like it

and know you always went in at your best.  
copyright Jodie Stewart 2010

I had a really great night last night with a friend from Australia Zoo. It was so good to chill out, breathe normally, and hang out with someone different. Someone who's a dork like me. Since Wednesday my mind hasn't stopped racing. I've been pretty stressed, my body is completely out of whack and i thought i was going to lose it. Then the asthma attack Thursday (completely unexpected, like all great things in our lives) and back at the medical centre tonight to get checked out. I'm looking forward to a better week next week but I don't think ill be seeing much of the predicament. I want to get away, it's time for a holiday but sadly, so much for diving in Cairns. *sad face*