Believe in yourself, anything is possible.

E.E Cummings once said: "once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

As a young female in this world, i cant help but look at myself in the mirror and picture my legs being 3x the size they are, or my tummy being larger than what it is, however, surprisingly enough, i noticed something different. As i exercised in front of the mirror i started to feel better about how i looked. Physical activity releases endorphins, and watching myself exercise really helped to change my perspective. I could see my muscles working and my ligaments pulling and loosening through each stretch. It's only one small step, but it's going to take a long time to eventually be happy with the way i look. My friends instill confidence in me always and i'm grateful to have them around me. At work we wear wetsuits (most of the time depending on the weather) and i'm always so self conscious in them. I just want to relax.

Today was the first day of being permanent part-time in my line of work. It has been a long time coming, as i was offered it months ago but it took time for me to make the decision. It's stability, and definitely what i need right now. No new years day to celebrate, no chocolate covered candy hearts to give away but a smile across my face. A burst of spring but what it is, is something true: just another ordinary day, but a good day nonetheless. At the moment i'm just having a rest from playing my guitar and singing to Mondo Rocks, come said the boy.. Since Friday night, all i want to do is play guitar, sing, paint and dance. I guess i'm trying to bring out the lionesses creative side and unleash my madness. I exercised after work today, did some strength training and stretching for my flexibility, ate the best dinner in a long time (veggies) scrumptious! and hung out with my animals. I'm still getting headaches but i think its the change in diet... so i'm going to be persistent and see what happens over the next few months. It is times like these when i start to feel settled emotionally that i look back and reflect on the year so far.

Sometimes we think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring. What our lives really need is patience, stillness and less erratic behaviour that leads to stress and anxiety. A great group of friends to help us when we are in need and honesty. I can't fathom the thought of not being honest. Some people find it difficult to say sorry; it seems to be one of the hardest words but when we accept our mistakes and face the truth, courage and bravery pull us through and in the end, you will always feel better with yourself for being honest. If i had one last wish, it would be that people are honest with me. I'm not perfect and i miss the youthfulness and naivety of being a young child. Now i've grown up, things have changed but we need to remember the youthful enthusiasm and ability to believe without doubt, like we did once before. (thanks dork:P) To conquer our all requires patience, persistence, dedication and most of all passion. In the morning we wake up to a new day, so grasp it with passion and enthusiasm, because its then we become unstoppable.

and PS: i miss you