All there is of you

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

 "make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

          Sometimes, we have to be our own best friends. 

Sometimes, we have to trust in our gut instincts and respect our anxieties - maybe they are trying to tell you something. 

          I believe that understanding your own emotions is so important to your health and well-being, and to the well-being of those around you. Understanding the answer to the question "why do i react the way i do?"

          It takes courage to face up to how you feel and accept that your actions are going to hurt someone. It takes strength to believe that you're doing the right thing. Sometimes, it takes sacrifice to put others before yourself. Does the end, justify your means?

It's a beautiful thing.

          Well, what is? You tell me. Life, is a beautiful thing for one. Look around you, take a step back and let yourself fall into the environment around you. Maybe the sun isn't shining, but embrace it, for the world gives us new challenges and hurdles everyday that we as human beings must overcome. Embrace the coldness of the winter period, because somewhere in the world, someone is colder than you. Embrace your warm water in the shower for not all have electricity. Appreciate what you have, as an individual and as a family unit. Some people aren't so lucky.

It's an inspiring thing.

          Is it? Does it make you feel like you can conquer the world? Does it give you courage to step outside your boundaries and truly let go?

It's magical.

          Do you feel truly alive? Do you stand tall in the face of whatever this world throws at you and stand up for what you believe in, but more so, who you are as a person?

It's your life.

          Bon Jovi wasn't kidding when he wrote that 'its your life, and it's now or never.'

Embrace opportunities, because the biggest mistake that i made was being afraid. Being afraid to be me again. Now that i'm here, i know that with my support network, i can conquer anything. Faith has been restored. And fuck it feels good!

JP xx
 

It's Just Simply Introspective.

          "I'm about to turn 22, so i suppose you get a little introspective knowing there's no going back now" - - Jodie Stewart

          Exactly one month ago i sat in this very same chair, on my laptop, and typed away about my roadtrip with my boyfriend to Yamba, Angourie and Byron Bay. One month later and i'm inspired to write once more, and yet it seems like my last blog post was over a year ago, considering how full on my weeks have been studying my second semester at Bond University. Bruce Springsteens 'Secret Garden' begins my itunes playlist. I suppose i'm almost a little shy, when it comes to expressing my emotions today which is a very rare thing for me. Nothing is wrong. The truth is, i feel as though i need to calm down and focus more of my attention inward toward myself and what i need, instead of directing it outward. Perhaps, this is what we call an introspective period.
          My first month of Bond has rushed by. Mid-semester exams are approaching fast for my psychology classes; Developmental and Intro to Psychology: Biology and Personality. I've found some amazing videos and other useful resources to help in my studies but have realised i need to relax and have some time to myself, before thrusting my mind back into the whirlwind of literature its currently exposed to. I'm having a ball, and i'm excited by the prospect of perhaps delving further into psychology as a career. It's only early days and i don't ever know how i could afford to do it, yet it's something i'm very keen on. Just as i am with becoming a yoga teacher. Mum gave me the idea last night i could do massage also, so there are options available to me depending on the path i'd like to take. Even if i don't pursue psychology, these subjects are giving me an excellent grounding in human development from 'womb to tomb' and interesting notes on what is considering 'normal' during a childs developmental process cognitively, physically, emotionally and psychosocially. I feel grateful i can relate to a lot of it, and am understanding more and more about my own personal upbringing, and the upbringing of my siblings and the different affects parenting styles have on children, and there values when they are older.
          It's never been unusual for me to be interested in understanding myself, my own behaviour and how my attitudes and values affect the person i am and how i live my life today, therefore, my introductory psychology class: biology and personality is providing me with excellent knowledge skills. I like to think that i have a balanced emotional IQ about people, and through understanding myself, will furthermore understand others. My mum has always been great inspiration here. Her emotional IQ is outstanding, and it's no wonder her workplace think so highly of her as a team leader who concentrates on building a team, and using her interpersonal skills to bring the best out in people. You know, i'm lucky dad convinced her to have another child. Thanks dad.
          We don't always find things easy living in the world we do, yet, when we have people who support our ideals, our ideas, and value us as worthwhile human beings, we can accomplish more than we know. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind, and as much as we don't like to admit it, sometimes your parents were right.

Roadtrip! Time to Relax. Explore. Indulge

It was wednesday afternoon, and just as i was wondering what to do with myself and how i should enjoy my last few days of freedom before heading back to my May semester at Bond university, my boyfriend asks me on Facebook, ever so frank, 'want to go roadtrippin'?' well, hell yes! We all love spontaneity and it was perfect. He cruised on down from Brissy to my place here on the Gold Coast, had some Thai for dinner with my family (we've had better, so thanks to mum we got our money back). Bought some alcohol from Dan Murphys and after i scrambled some things together including a few snacks and a sleeping bag, we were on our way. Our first stop, hippy loving Byron Bay.

Ahh Byron Bay. About an hour 10minutes drive south of the Gold Coast past Tweed Heads and not as far as Ballina, Byron Bay is one of New South Wales hidden treasures boasting beautiful beaches, environmentally sustainable living, boutique retail stores, great coffee and a very friendly small town atmosphere. One of the best things? No place in town is higher than 3 storeys (due to council regulations) to keep this treasure a gem of a town so all can enjoy the beach view from a far. We arrived at night time but enjoyed drinks by the beach, a nice walk in the cool breeze and slept in the car like true 'roadtrippers.' It wasn't the most comfortable night sleep for myself - i had a non-stop shift in feeling hot and cold so it was on with the ugg boots, off with the beanie, under the doona, no doona, cuddle my man then damn, i need the 'ladies' aka the fifth tree along the back sand dune off the beach. Nevertheless we got some rest and soon woke up to a beautiful sunrise and a small set of waves kissing the shoreline. What a way to start the day. We walked along the beach and headed back to the car for needed coffee and some 'food for thought' - then it was time for some real food and a trip to the Byron Sky Dive shop.

Check them out here:  http://www.theskydiveshop.com.au/ It's the only one stop skydiving shop for skydivers in Australia. We met an awesome dude there called Joe who showed Jindy (my boyfriend) the gear they have for sale, where they jump and general awesome skydive chat. 

Our stop in Byron was short but always welcoming and considering Jindy may be moving to Byron, it will be great to spend more time in the place. I'm definitely keen to check out some yoga. 

So it was back to the car for our next stop Yamba. Click here to see it on the map - Google Map.

Yamba was so beautiful, pristine and simply captivating. It reminded me of a small slice of Mount Tambourine living but on the beach. The locals were friendly and we had a lovely lunch with handmade goodies at the Caper Berry Cafe and of course freshly squeezed juice with a hint of ginger. Instead of crashing in the car again we decided to stay in the 'Room with a view' which was $80 for a night in the Pacific Hotel. It wasn't cheap or nasty and to pay that little $10 extra for a tv, fridge and a view of the beach like we saw, you had to do it. The only downside was shared communal facilities where i was unfortunate enough to be locked in the bathroom. Great. It was one of those doors with a rusty lock that was flush to the floor - no way under or over the door and the loovers of the window were jammed tight. I banged loudly more than once, no answer. So i hit the loovers down hard a few times till they shifted. I literally stood there for a good 5 minutes before this old couple walked out to their car. I screamed hello, so they waved at me and were about to hop in the car to leave. "No i'm stuck!" I yelled. "you're stuck in there?" the old darling asked. "Yeah i'm stuck inside..." She cracked up laughing at me and sent her husband in to let them know. Yes, it was pretty funny, so i waited and eventually after her attempts and my boyfriends attempts, including me wedging the pliars around it and just pulling with all my might, we got me out. I was so glad, i had to laugh and see the funny side. Of course it was going to happen to me. 

Yamba, the sleepy fishing village on the north coast of

NSW (population 5600), was named the Best Town in

Australia, pipping renowned holiday hotspots like Byron

Bay, Noosa, Port Douglas, Broome and Apollo Bay. 

Byron Bay is the only other NSW town to make it into the Top Ten

of the 100 Best Towns in Australia.

Australian Traveller editor Greg Barton is already

apologising to local residents for telling the world. “Sorry,

Yamba locals. We’ve let the cat out of the bag,” says

Barton. “You can’t keep a secret this good forever.”

“Yamba has that X-factor: underdeveloped, underrated and

totally unpretentious. Great surf, a fantastic community, it’s

a safe and peaceful getaway,” Barton continues.

To read more click the link below:

Yamba_Nations_Best.pdf

So Yamba proved itself to be one of the best towns i've ever visited, and with company like mine we had the best time. It's definitely one town not to be missed. All i want to do now is live in Yamba or Angourie (it's neighbour).

Here's the Situation

Please excuse me for how slack i've been posting in my blog. I needed a well deserved break away from the 'screenager' generation and technology. We are living in a world where we are taught from a young age that all the fun happens within a screen. I'm talking nintendo ds, playstation and game systems alike, iPhones/blackberry and touch screen digital systems. We have entered a world where our lives depend on digital technologies to help us accomplish tasks quicker, so there's more relaxation time. Without this form of 'screenager' technology we would actually have less stress in our lives.

Nevertheless i'm BACK and ready to wear it well.

One more week and i'm back to university, semester two and only 6 subjects until graduation. Im undertaking psychology and public speaking - subjects i'm very interested and eager to get into. The only thing that sucks... Monday 8am lectures. Dam.

Pole fitness is going well. I'm gaining more strength and flexibility and continually being inspired by copious amounts of youtube videos about pole dancing moves and of course my idol Felix Cane. Check her out by clicking this link:


Miss Felix Cane Miss Pole Dance 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DQRUI6aOf4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Here is a sample of images of moves i have accomplished so far.

Its sensuous. Its sexy. Its ART.

Why pole dance? 

Pole Dancing is a great way to increase your strength and flexibility in a sexy and fun way, not only building confidence, but a more defined and strong YOU.

BUT

If your in doubt...

YOGA IT OUT :D 

A life well lived

Although you wouldn't have guessed it, i'm enjoying a good stretch whilst typing this and contemplating a 'life well lived' - seneca. Sitting on the floor of my lounge room in my underwear; a middle split and laptop between my legs, (in fact i'm sure my legs are going to seize up any moment) i can breathe a sigh of relief knowing theres only one more exam to go at university and i can relax. It's easter holidays soon and the boy and i leave for a camping trip along Noosa North Shore on Tuesday morning. This cloudy weather doesn't look promising, but it's forecast to be a week of sunshine from wednesday onward so fingers crossed the sun decides to come out and play. Sunscreen, anyone? Lets not get burnt again. 

I've been thinking, it always happens to a friend of a friend, of a friend, although i must say, people are shit scared of the great unknown and the truth. I consider it bordering along pathetic. We all want our lives to pan out the way we plan it, meet the perfect people, do what's right for us and maybe we should be a little more selfish. 

You realise that in the eternity of space theres probably a planet out there just like this one?

Did I mention his Canadian visa was declined? Disappointing and frustrating indeed. His plans have had a spanner thrown in the works but am I happy that im spending more time with him and there's no longer a break off point? Well of course and who knows what doors this will open for us now.

Live your life the way you want to, go hard at whatever It is you want to achieve because no matter who throws negative judgments and what not towards you, it's you who will make a difference in your life. Dance the night away and go jump out of a plane.

LoVe is not enough

Every little thing that occurs in our life has consequences. Every little feeling, or moment; every time you step outside the door and feast your eyes on the world around us, you take a deep breath and willingly venture out and see what you can accomplish that day. You may have the day off from work, the sun is shining and you head to a day at the beach. Or you might go grocery shopping, do your household chores, take your children to a park whatever it is you decided to do, you discover more about yourself and learn that life is fleeting (even if you do know how to use it) thanks Seneca. 


A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

My mind cannot begin to distinguish between the events of late. It's not High Fidelity, a story about growing up when you're grown up, but it sure feels like it. Last day of week 11 at university. One analysis report to complete about the Australian Securities Exchange, (riveting). A presentation about my Yoga by Donation project, two exams and endless nights of studying. I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. There's skydiving (what a rush), nights with friends who i haven't seen; i'm sure there are many stories to be shared, my exams and camping before easter. April is forecast to be a month of fun and adventure, including horse riding along the beach in Noosa Foreshore, romantic huh? 

Some things have happened that have made me second guess everything that it is i'm doing with myself, but a conversation with my sister (for those of you who don't know, i met her via facebook) turned things around for the better. I was able to explain things, without having that feeling of judgment, stripped bare i disclosed my true feelings. Thank you technology.   

My dad is home from his two month adventure to Melbourne, Tasmania and Adelaide. I missed him you know, he is my dad after all, however, relaxation is the key to fulfilment and happiness. It's something he needed, to get away, everyone needs a break every now and then. I know he had a great time seeing old friends and family. I'm jealous of all the picturesque scenery (good and bad) he would have seen, the characters he would have come across, the sights, the smells of a new city. Like a new emotion, tingling, contradictory to the norm. I want to travel and see the world, meet people and experience the sights and smells of another culture, another world. After i graduate from my degree I don't know where the end of this year will take me, the places i'll end up but i'll be out there somewhere in the world. We all have goals, ambitions and dreams right? 

I have a boyfriend who makes me feel alive and happy who is leaving somewhat soon (i'm not sure of exactly when as it keeps changing depending on his circumstances) to embark on his own adventure, hence, we have a break off point. Therefore, one would say our relationship is rather casual considering the deadline, yet it feels so serious at the same time. Half the time i can't explain what it is yet i go with the flow and enjoy it for what it is. Want me to tell you the honest truth? Sometimes, love is not enough... Currently it's the biggest thing in his life at the moment, but i don't want to be reminded of the fact that he is leaving every time i'm with him, for our time together is fleeting, like an old photos colour that's slowly fading. Sure, colour can be restored, but can that feeling between two people last? That one moment? 

I remember the time we first kissed. We were in Brisbane standing on some sort of bridge from the Botanical Gardens. I wasn't ready for it, he grabbed me, pulled me in and kissed me. There was so much energy, i still feel it when i kiss him today. Its an amazing feeling and feels like it only happened yesterday. He stares at me, sometimes constantly and reminds me how gorgeous i am like a record on repeat, but i enjoy it. I mean who wouldn't? It's nice someone feels that way about me. We were driving in the car and he said 'i think i love you.' After we had a disagreement the night before...If he truly loves me, he wouldn't say 'i think.' Love is not a word i throw around to just anyone and i really care about him, that's no surprise to any of my friends or to himself. I honestly don't know how to begin deciphering through the hidden messages my gut feelings are sending me. What's swept through feels like a whirlwind and i can't sleep at night. The feelings will pass soon, but is it bad things would be much easier if i simply never met him? I feel unsettled, almost anxious and I had a mild anxiety attack last week. Don't get me wrong, i'm so thankful for meeting him, he has given me this sense of 'being' i can't explain it, i'm a lot more motivated and conscious of what i'm doing. The time i have with him is short but i do plan on seeing him in Canada; being with him is awesome, we don't stop smiling around each other. We have something special. You can feel something special with different people and this is one of those. I just wish there was some kind of manual for it. Something to tell me what to do, a guideline. He tells me i'm gorgeous and then tells me when he gets back from the States, he hopes that i 'will dump whatever douche bag i'm with and be with him.' An interesting comment, i chuckled of course. He says funny things like that all the time, how he would marry me and pop out a few kids with me when he gets back because he doesn't want anyone else but me. What more am i to do, than just laugh and take it on the nose? He told me he would marry me on our drive to Noosa after only knowing me for a little bit, staring at me the whole drive, hey i'm glad i made it back safe and sound. When he smiles at me, it's more than words could ever express. As he said to me 'absence makes the heart grow fonder baby.' now who's the romantic one? Just kidding. 

We go through our lives from one extreme to the next forming partnerships and relationships, some shorter than others. We be spontaneous; things can and do happen rather unexpectedly so we embrace the opportunities that come our way. Things happen beyond our control and we can't help the feelings that we feel. This year is a big one for me, and i would love for him to be apart of it at least until July. He needs to save up quite a bit of cash anyway but sometimes i feel like he will just spring it on me that he is say, leaving next week. He already told me he can't bear to say goodbye to me, so would much rather just leave, and call me from America as he 'doesn't want to see me hurt.' If he respects me, he will be brave enough to say goodbye to me properly.

No one likes to hurt anyone, but everybody hurts sometime. At the moment Bob marleys Could you be loved is playing in the background. It reminds me of him. 

Could you be loved and be loved? With a timeline?